101 Narcissist Quotes Funny Enough to Make You Laugh Out Loud
Narcissists can be infuriating with their inflated egos, lack of empathy, and manipulative ways. But sometimes, the best way to cope is to find the humour in their weird behaviour.
Get ready to chuckle at this collection of 101 narcissist quotes funny enough to make you LOL.
Table of Contents
25 Narcissist Quotes Funny Enough to Make You Snort
- “I love narcissists — even more than they love themselves.” — Bette Midler
- “If narcissism were currency, they’d be the richest in the world.”
- “Meditation is a way to be narcissistic without hurting anyone.” — Nassim Nicholas Taleb
- “Narcissists are like the weather – they only care about themselves.”
- “Narcissists are masters of pathologizing your emotions. They convince you that your emotional reactions to the abuse are the problem, rather than the abuse itself.
- “It’s so nice when toxic people stop talking to you. It’s like the trash took itself out.” — Karen Salmansoh
- “Narcissists believe the world revolves around their reflection.””There’s a definition of narcissism that when a parent is narcissistic, instead of the child seeing himself reflected in the mother’s face and the mother’s joy, the child of the narcissistic parent feels like, ‘What can I do to make her okay, to make her happy?'” — Susan Sullivan
- “Self-love is one thing, but narcissism is a whole other level.”
- “They say the most beautiful thing a narcissist can see is their own reflection.”
- “A narcissist’s ego is bigger than the universe, and they’re the centre of it all.”
- “Narcissists don’t need mirrors; they carry their own adoration wherever they go.”
- “Ever noticed how a narcissist’s conversations always circle back to them?”
- “Narcissists have mastered the art of making everything about themselves.”
- “You know you’re dealing with a narcissist when even their shadow demands attention.”
- “Narcissists have a special talent for turning every moment into a celebration of their greatness.”
- “A narcissist’s favourite hobby? Self-idolization.”
25 More Narcissist Quotes Funny to Giggle At
- “No matter how socially skilled an extreme narcissist is, he has a major attachment dysfunction. The extreme narcissist is frozen in childhood.” – Samuel Lopez de Victoria
- Narcissists treat compliments like oxygen – they can’t live without them.”
- “The world may have seven billion people, but to a narcissist, there’s only one worth mentioning – themselves.”
- “A narcissist’s ego is so big, it has its zip code.”
- “Ever tried to have a conversation with a narcissist? It’s like talking to a mirror – all you see is your reflection.”
- “Narcissists are afflicted with a bottomless appetite for recognition, attention, glory, rewards. And it’s a zero-sum thing. Every moment a narcissist spends listening to another party guest tell a story is a moment in which the stage has been surrendered.” – Jeffrey Kluger
READ: Narcissistic Mother Quotes: Understanding the Impact of Narcissistic Parenting
- “If you want to go from being adored to devalued in the blink of an eye, simply insult the narcissist.” – Tigress Luv
- Narcissists believe they’re the star of the show, and everyone else is just an extra.”
- “Narcissists are like black holes – they suck in all the attention and give nothing in return.”
- “If you want to understand a narcissist, just look at their social media – it’s a shrine to their greatness.”
- “Narcissists are like cats – they’ll only pay attention to you when it suits them.”
- “The narcissist is like a bucket with a hole in the bottom: No matter how much you put in, you can never fill it up.” — Dr. Ramani Durvasula
- “Self-love for ever creeps out, like a snake, to sting anything which happens to stumble upon it.” — Lord Byron
Witty Narcissist Quotes
- “Narcissism really spreads its wings and soars on Twitter. It’s like watching a dragon hatch and learn to fly.” — Dave Anthony
- “The greater our own level of narcissism, the more we detest it in others.” — Steve Maraboli
- “A victim of circumstance is a casualty. A victim of convenience is a narcissist.” — Alan Robert Neal
- “Narcissus does not fall in love with his reflection because it is beautiful, but because it is his. If it were his beauty that enthralled him, he would be set free in a few years by its fading.” – W.H. Auden
- “Narcissistic personality disorder is named for Narcissus, from Greek mythology, who fell in love with his own reflection.” – Donald W. Black
Read: 12 traits of a narcissist
Narcissist Quotes funny
- “Dear narcissus boy, I know you’ve never really apologized for anything, I know you’ve never really taken responsibility, I know you’ve never really listened to a woman.” – Alanis Morissette
- “You can teach a narcissist to show up on time, but you can’t train them to listen once they get there.” – Dr. Ramani Durvasula
- “Throughout most of our history, nothing — not flood, famine, plague, or new weapons — has endangered humanity one-tenth as much as the narcissistic ego, with its self-aggrandizing presumptions and its hell-hound spawn of fear and greed.” — Tom Robbins
- “I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world. They have no concept of their behavior or how it might be affecting other people. So comedically, it’s a very fun type of character to play. They are bulls in a china shop, twenty-four seven.” – Michael Showalter
- “Narcissism is, indeed, the new world order.” – Dr. Ramani Durvasula
READ: Narcissistic Sibling: 5 Warning Signs
Narcissist Quotes Funny that reflect a narcissistic attitude
- “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
- “I am not a has-been. I am a will-be.” – Lauren Bacall
- “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen
- “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man!” – Jay-Z
- “I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.” – Margaret Thatcher
- “I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.” – Muhammad Ali
- “I am so talented that I can’t even remember what it was like not being me.” – Paul Gascoigne
- “I don’t think there’s anyone who’s made more fun of themselves than I have.” – Joan Rivers
READ: Female Narcissist Gaslighting: 10 manipulation tactics
Concluding Narcissist Quotes Funny Enough to Help You Cope
While narcissistic abuse is no laughing matter, finding the humour in a narcissist’s outrageous antics can provide some much-needed comic relief.
These 101 narcissist quotes funny enough to make you chuckle are proof that laughter really is the best medicine.
So the next time your narcissist’s ego threatens to ruin your day, recall one of these witty quips and remember, it’s them, not you!
FAQS
Q: What are powerful narcissistic quotes?
A: Powerful narcissistic quotes capture the essence of their manipulative behavior and the emotional impact they have on others. These quotes often highlight:
Lack of empathy: “My needs are always more important than yours.”
Need for control: “You’ll do things my way, or there will be consequences.”
Grandiosity: “Everyone else is replaceable, but I’m one of a kind.”
Victim mentality: “Why does nobody ever understand me?”
Q: What are famous narcissist lines?
(Note: Attributing specific quotes to real-life narcissists can be difficult. The following examples represent the kind of things narcissists might say.)
“I could have been a [insert prestigious career path] if it weren’t for…” (Blames external factors for their perceived lack of success)
“You wouldn’t be anything without me.” (Diminishes others’ achievements)
“They’re just jealous of me.” (Projects their insecurities onto others)
“Everyone is always out to get me.” (Plays the victim)
“I’m the only one who truly understands you.” (Isolates others)
Q: What would a narcissist never say?
Here are things a narcissist is unlikely to say:
“I was wrong, I apologize.” (Taking responsibility for their actions)
“I’m proud of your accomplishments.” (Genuine praise for others)
“Let’s talk about your feelings.” (Empathy for others’ emotions)
“I need your help.” (Admitting vulnerability)
“It’s your turn to choose what we do.” (Relinquishing control)
What do narcissists usually say?
Narcissists often engage in these verbal tactics:
Bragging and boasting: They constantly highlight their perceived achievements.
Criticizing and belittling: They put others down to feel superior.
Guilt-tripping: They manipulate others through emotional manipulation.
Playing the victim: They deflect blame and portray themselves as the victim.
Gaslighting: They distort reality and deny their actions.